082: Wendy Behary on Working with Narcissism

When working with clients in therapy I often wonder if someone might be displaying aspects of narcissism. I often question myself and my reality. It is important to realize that partner of people with narcissism feel this way all the time. The following is right from Wendy Behary's website:

Typically, narcissists display ten of the following thirteen traits:

1. Self-absorbed – Acts like everything is all about him or her
2. Entitled – Makes the rules; breaks the rules
3. Demeaning – Puts you down, bullyish
4. Demanding – of whatever he or she wants
5. Distrustful  – Suspicious of your motives when you’re being nice to him or her
6. Perfectionistic – Rigidly high standards – his or her way or no way
7. Snobbish – Believes he or she is superior to you and others; gets bored easily
8. Approval seeking – Craves constant praise and recognition
9. Unempathic- Uninterested in understanding your inner experience or unable to do so
10. Unremorseful – Cannot offer a genuine apology
11. Compulsive – Gets overly consumed with details and minutiae
12. Addictive – Cannot let go of bad habits; uses them to self soothe
13. Emotionally detached – Steers clear of feeling

Wendy Behary is a leader in working with people with narcissism. She is the founder and director of The Cognitive Therapy Center of New Jersey and The Schema Therapy Institutes of NJ-NYC and DC. She wrote the book Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed.

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Find more resources for working with narcissism at disarmingthenarcissist.com

Find out more about the book Disarming the Narcissist

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